September 16, 2024|י"ג אלול ה' אלפים תשפ"ד Ki Teitzei 5784 - Knowing You Are Loved By Rabbi Beni Krohn

This morning, we are introduced to the halachos of YERUSHA, of how finances are passed down according to the Torah.  Yet, the way in which the Torah teaches this idea is rather surprising.

Says the Torah:

Imagine a scenario where a man has two wives, one that he loves, called by the Torah, the AHUVA, and one that he dislikes, called by the Torah the SENUA.  And each of these women has a son. 

Now, imagine that this man dies, and he leaves a command to his family, that he wants the son of the PREFERRED WIFE to receive a double-portion, even though the son of the SENUA is actually the bechor, the eldest son.

Says the Torah,

](טז) וְהָיָה בְּיוֹם הַנְחִילוֹ אֶת בָּנָיו אֵת אֲשֶׁר יִהְיֶה לוֹ[ לֹא יוּכַל לְבַכֵּר אֶת בֶּן הָאֲהוּבָה עַל פְּנֵי בֶן הַשְּׂנוּאָה הַבְּכֹר:

The father cannot give the double-portion to the son of the AHUVA because he is NOT the bechor.  Rather, you have to stick to the rules and give the ELDEST SON the double-portion, EVEN THOUGH he isn’t from the favored wife.

Now, there are so many questions about these pesukim, but I want to ask two:

1)   If the torah wanted to teach us the halachos of yerusha, that the oldest son gets a double-portion, just say, “When a person dies, the eldest son gets Pi Shnayim, he gets double”.  End of story. Why are you talking to me about a wife he loves, the wife he hates?!

2)   If the halacha is that the oldest son always gets double, why tell us that you can’t go against the rules and instead give double to the one you like better?!  Just say, the eldest son ALWAYS gets double.

How do we understand this whole story?

The Alter Rebbe, Rav Schneur Zalman of Lidai, the first Rebbe of Chabad, offers a beautiful answer to these questions:

He writes that the Torah is not simply teaching us the laws of inheritance.  It is also teaching us something much deeper about the way HKBH looks at and appreciates His children.

Says the Rebbe, that in the world there are two types of Jews.  There are the Bnei Ha’Ahuva, the Jews for whom, it seems to us at least, Avodas Hashem, connecting to a life of Torah & Mitzvos seems relatively easy.  Of course, even they struggle, but overall these are people, great Talmidei Chachamim and Tzadikim who have a special, unique relationship with Hashem.

And then, writes the Rebbe, there is THE REST OF US.  Those who feel, at times, that a life of Avodas Hashem, a life committed to Torah & Mitzvos is DIFFICULT.  Those of us who feel, at times, that it’s not always, as the song goes, “GESHMAK TO BE A YID!”  Sometimes it’s hard for us to live up to the ideals of Torah, to fulfill the details of each halacha.  We try and we are growing, but it’s a STRUGGLE for us.  And because of this, we sometimes feel like the “BEN HASENUA” the child of Hashem who is detested, and CERTAINLY NOT THE FAVORITE.

To this, says the Rebbe, comes to the Torah to teach us that WE HAVE IT ALL WRONG!  Says the Torah, B”YOM HANCHILO ES BANAV, when, in the End of the Days, when it is time for the Yimos HaMashiach, we will think, you know who made this happen, and you know who should come to the FRONT OF THE LINE to receive DOUBLE!?  The Tzaddikim of course!  The BANIM HA’AHUVIM!  The children that Hashem must love BEST! 

And says the Torah, NO!      

לֹא יוּכַל לְבַכֵּר אֶת בֶּן הָאֲהוּבָה עַל פְּנֵי בֶן הַשְּׂנוּאָה הַבְּכֹר:

You CANNOT show favoritism to the Ben Ha’AHUVA in place of the Ben HaSENUA!  Rather then Ben HaSenua will get DOUBLE!

But why not?

Answers the Rebbe, because in the end of the day, there are very few people who are on that level of the Ben Ha’Ahuva, a few in every generation.  And, he writes, there were great tzadikim alive at the time of the Churban Beis HaMikdash and they could not prevent its destruction.

Rather, says the Rebbe:

עיקר הגאולה שלימה תלוי בנו!

The Geula, the coming of Mashiach does NOT depend on the tzadikim, it DEPENDS ON US!

And why is that?  Because Hashem’s goal is to be present HERE ON THIS EARTH, as the Chassidim like to say, to have “DIRA B’TACHTONIM” to have a place to reside, as it were, in this world.  And EVERY ONE OF US has the ability to bring more Godliness into this world. 

So while, of course, great tzadikim have the ability to bring Hashem’s Presence, His values and ideals to this world.  It is those of us, MOST OF US, who have the STRUGGLE, who sometimes are motivated and other times are not, but who persevere and try again, who bring holiness into the world even as they struggle with that which is UNHOLY, who make the GREATEST IMPACT!

And it is for THIS REASON, says the Rebbe, that the Torah goes through this whole long song and dance:

Yes, there are TWO TYPES OF PEOPLE, the son who is universally understood to be from the AHUVA, the one who is loved, and also so many of us, who sometimes feel like we are SENUA, that we aren’t fully appreciated because sometimes Avodas Hashem is a challenge for us.  Because we struggle and make mistakes and have to get up and try again.

And comes the Torah to tell us: DON’T MAKE THAT MISTAKE and believe that Hashem PREFERS what you believe to be HIS AHUVA. In fact, HE’S ACTUALLY RELYING MORE HEAVILY ON THE “SENUA”.  LO MISHPAT HABECHORA!  We are the ones who carry the load.  We are the ones who fight the good fight and WE are the KEY to creating that DIRA B’TACHTONIM, a place in this world for people to understand and appreciate the values of HKBH.

Rav YY Jacobson once said that sometimes the GREATEST stress we can feel in our spiritual lives is that we FEEL that there’s fragmentation.  We want to do what we know is right, and we also desire to do that which ISN’T right.  And, somehow, we get this idea that if we STRUGGLE with that which is BAD, we ARE BAD.  That it makes us SENUA. When, of course, IT’S JUST THE OPPOSITE.  It’s because we are willing to struggle with BAD that we are GREAT!  It make us AHUVA, beloved so much to Hashem.

The Gemara says: “Haba Litamei Poschin Lo”, which is generally explained as, that when someone comes to do something they shouldn’t do, to sin, Hashem opens the door for him or her to sin. He let’s us make that choice.

Says the Meor Einayim, Rav Menachem Nochum Twersky of Chernobyl, there’s a different pshat: Haba Litamei, when someone is heading down the road to sin, POSCHIN LO, it is at THAT MOMENT that the DOOR IS OPENED to grow!

Elul is now in full swing.  And sometimes the greatest obstacle to our growth during this time is NOT the fact that we struggle, that we have an up and down relationship with HKBH.  That’s normal.  The greatest obstacle to growth is that because we struggle, we feel that we are SENUA, that we aren’t worthy of a relationship with Hashem.  And that somehow our struggle make us bad.  Comes Alter Rebbe to remind us: not only does your struggle with the unseemly elements of the world not make you bad, it makes you GREAT!  It makes you the vehicle for the arrival of Mashiach himself!