November 18, 2024|י"ז חשון ה' אלפים תשפ"ה Vayeira 5785 - Don't Look Back By Rabbi Beni Krohn

When I was 8 years old, my parents took us on a family trip to Israel for the summer.  My father hired a tour guide, and we went to many of the classic spots.  And, of course, that included Masada and the Dead Sea area.

And I still remember, at one point the tour guide showed us a strange-looking pillar, which looked like stone, but was actually a pillar of salt.  And he told us kids, “This is Lot’s wife!” 

I, of course, thought it was super cool.  And whether that specific pillar I saw was actually Lot’s wife or not, this story is not something found in the midrash somewhere. It is told to us in the Torah itself.

As Lot, his wife, and daughters are following the angels who had come to save them out of harm’s way, the angels warn them: 

](יז) וַיְהִי כְהוֹצִיאָם אֹתָם הַחוּצָה[ וַיֹּאמֶר הִמָּלֵט עַל נַפְשֶׁךָ אַל תַּבִּיט אַחֲרֶיךָ וְאַל תַּעֲמֹד בְּכָל הַכִּכָּר הָהָרָה הִמָּלֵט פֶּן תִּסָּפֶה

And he said, ‘run for your lives, DO NOT LOOK BACK, don’t stand in this whole area, rather RUN UP THE MOUNTAIN before it’s too late!

And yet, only a few psukim later the Torah tells us:

(כו) וַתַּבֵּט אִשְׁתּוֹ מֵאַחֲרָיו וַתְּהִי נְצִיב מֶלַח:

Lot’s wife looked back, and she became a PILLAR OF SALT

And it raises a very simple question: What is the purpose of telling us this story?  What is the lesson we are meant to take from it?

This morning, I would like to share three approaches to this question:

The Bechor Shor, Ibn Ezra, and other rishonim explain that really what happened was that Lot’s wife was killed just like the rest of the people of Sedom.  The city was consumed by “GAPHRIS VAMELECH” Salt & Sulfur.  And so, met the same end as the people of Sedom.

And what was it that caused that to happen? She was sure where she wanted to be?  At that moment she had to decide, am I remaining to connected to this community of people with such terrible values and morals, but a place in which I feel comfortable, or am I ready to walk away from all of it, my family my home, in order to live the life I know is better for me.

And ultimately she spent too much time LOOKING BACK, LONGING TO STAY with the people of Sedom, and so she ended up with them.

Rashi, quotes the Medrash in Breishis Raba that this SPECIFIC punishment that Lot’s wife experienced was DIRECTLY RELATED to her conduct.  What we call, “Mida K’neged Mida”. 

Says the medrash:

במלח חטאה ובמלח לקתה. אמר לה תני מעט מלח לאורחים הללו, אמרה לו אף המנהג הרע הזה אתה בא להנהיג במקום הזה:

She sinned with SALT, so she was punished with Salt. How so?  When the guests arrived at their house, Lot asked her for salt.  She responded, “you have brought this evil practice of inviting guests into our home too!?

According to Rashi, then, Lot’s wife was not punished this way because she was part of the people of Sedom per se.  Rather, it was a more SPECIFIC response to her callous approach to her husband’s interest in bringing chesed into their home.

Rabbi Dr. Norman Lamm zt“l offers a third related, but slightly different answer.

We know, of course, that salt is the ULTIMATE PRESERVATIVE.  When we salt an item, it’s as if we FREEZE ITS AGING PROCESS.  In fact, salt itself is very difficult to change.  Whether you heat it, freeze it, dissolve it, or mix it, it is unchanging and inflexible. 

At times, of course, that is very helpful. We need to preserve our connection to our past.  We should cherish the lessons we have learned throughout our life and preserve them. However, being TOO SALTY, being TOO CONNECTED TO THE PAST that we aren’t willing to make changes that are good for ourselves or our family prevents us from achieving our full potential.

According to Rabbi Lamm, the malachim were not simply warning Lot’s wife not to look back at the people of Sedom, they sending her – and us – a much more fundamental lesson:  When we get too caught up in the past, when we become a little TOO SALTY, then we lose our ability to move forward, to grow, and to be our best selves.  Hence, they warn her: Al tabit meacharecha, DON’T LOOK BACK.  MOVE FORWARD.

Rav Aharon Roth in his sefer Shomer Emunim writes that this applies to all of us in our Avodas Hashem as well.  We all have a vision of who we would like to be as Jews.  And, we often fall short of that vision.  And writes the Shomer Emunim, comes to the pasuk to remind us that getting stuck in those past missteps won’t do us any good.  It is in times like these that we have to heed the message of the malachim, “Al Tabit Me’Acharecha”, don’t get pulled into the negativity of your passed missteps.   Rather:

הָהָרָה הִמָּלֵט פֶּן תִּסָּפֶה:

Get moving, climbing the mountain again before it’s too late!

Rabbi Y. Y. Jacobson tells a story that he heard firsthand from a woman grew up in California with an almost entirely secular background. She didn’t light Chanukah candles or have Pesach Seder. 

She goes off to college at Berkley in the 1960s, and she begins searching for truth.  And her travels take her all over the world.  She is Baptized in a monastery in Scotland.  She tries Hinduism, Buddhism, and Sufism.

After 4 years, she finds herself in an Ashram in Tibet when she receives a message that her father is deathly ill, so she goes back to the USA to be with him. 

While she is in the United States, a friend calls her and says she’s going to a Hassidic community for a seder, in Brooklyn, at a place called Machon Chana, and she decides to join her friend.  She arrives at the seder, and at the beginning, the Lubavitcher Rebbe comes to visit, and he gives a bracha to everyone. 

This woman said she was so moved by his presence, by the whole environment, the signing, the conversation, it was so moving.  She decided to stay there and she stayed through Shavuos.

After a little while, she decides to introduce herself to the Lubavitcher Rebbe, and she wrote him a letter about all the things she had experienced.  She describes everything she had done all those 4 years.  Like Yisro who had done every Avoda Zara that existed in the world.

And the Rebbe writes back to her, quoting from the Gemara in which states: If someone tells you

-        yagati v’lo matzasi, al taamin.  I worked hard and didn’t find success, don’t believe them.   

-        Lo yagati umatzasi, al taamin.  I didn’t work hard, and I found success, don’t believe them either.   

-        Yagasi umatzasi taamin.  I worked hard, and I found success, then believe them.   

The Rebbe writes, you fulfilled the YAGATI, you worked hard to find Hashem, so for SURE, you fulfilled MATZASI, you have found Him!

Since you went through the Yagati with such unprecedented thirst and desire, then you will have the most POWERFUL MAZTASI.

She said, “I started to cry.  He took four years of my getting lost, and he turned it into a YAGATI.  I was searching for Hashem in all the wrong places, but it was a SEARCHING, and he erased so much of my terrible guilt.”

The Rebbe was telling this young woman, that no matter the challenges she had faced in the past, the things she had done and regretted, what mattered was that she was looking to move forward!

And this is the lesson those angels teach all of us.  If we are willing to put in the hard work, the yegati, then no matter what we have experienced in the past, don’t spend too much looking back.  Instead, go find your matzasi.